I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
