Your tits are I can't wait for
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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