i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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