yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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