Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
