I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
