Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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