Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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