Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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