i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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