i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
