What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
