i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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