Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
