Ambien. No doubt about it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
foreskin is a definite game changer
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
