Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
