my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
