Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
