i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
