On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
