just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
