i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
