the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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