shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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