haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
