his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
