he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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