R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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