And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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