hotel room ftw
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
