brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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