I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
