i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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