and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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