addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
