If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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