Grow some girl-balls and come out already
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
