She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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