i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
