I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
