I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
