So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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