They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
