He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
