Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude i'm inner monologue high
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
