We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
