i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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