The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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