I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Panties = found
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
