Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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