i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
