I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
